9 TIPS TO MAKE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP GREAT

9 tips to make a good relationship great



Sustaining a relationship is not strictly speaking an easy task. As two people spend more and more time together it’s only natural that the thrill reduces and even fades away sometimes. There are however things you can do to make a good relationship great. Here are some helpful tips;

1. Do the things you did when you started dating.
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As the months and years roll on, we tend to relax and get lazy in our relationship. We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort we once made toward our partner. Think back to when the relationship started and write down all the things you used to do for your partner. Now start doing them again.


2. Ask for what you want.
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Over time, we assume our partner know us so well so we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection. Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything. Save your relationship the hassle, say it and get a response.


3. Become an expert on your partner.
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Whenever you want to become good at something; you study and practice it right?. Your relationship shouldn’t be any different. Think about who your partner really is and what excites him or her (both physically and emotionally). We can become consumed by what WE THINK he/she wants, as opposed to tuning in to what truly resonates with the other person. Remember that if it’s important to your partner, it doesn’t have to make sense to you. You just have to do it. Think of your relationship as a project you must succeed in and get better at making your partner's wishes come to pass.


4. Don't ask "how was your day.?" Get spontaneous

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At the end of a long day, we tend to mentally check out of our lives and consequently, our relationship. We rely on the standard question, “How was your day?” Generally, that boring question will yield a boring answer such as, “Fine, how was yours?” This does nothing to improve your connection and instead, can actually damage it because you're losing the opportunity to regularly connect in a small way.
Instead, try asking things like, “What made you smile today?” or “What was the most challenging part of your day?” You’ll be amazed at the answers you’ll get, with the added benefit of gaining greater insight into the life of your partner.


5. Get creative about the time you spend together.
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Break out of the “dinner and a movie” routine and watch how a little novelty can truly rejuvenate your relationship. On a budget and can’t go big? Jump on the internet to look for “cheap date ideas” and be blown away at the plethora of options. Can’t afford a sitter? Try swapping babysitting time with friends that have kids. Help the school down town with their extra-curricular activities and other free but exciting activities you guys can get involved in.


6. Take a (mental) vacation, every day.
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Life and work distractions can become paramount in our minds and that leaves little time or energy for our partner. Practice the art of “Wearing the Relationship Hat.” This means that (barring any emergencies or deadlines), we are fully present when we're with each other. We truly hear what they are saying (instead of pretending to listen), we leave our distractions behind and we don’t pick them up again until the sun comes up and we walk out the door.


7. Take "fight breaks" when you need them.
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Before you’ve hit the point of no return and as you see the stress beginning to escalate, one or both of you can call a break so that cooler heads can prevail. The crux of this tool lies in the fact that you must pick a specific time to revisit the conversation (I.e. 10 minutes from now, 2:00pm on Tuesday etc.) so that closure can be achieved.


8. Seek to understand ... not agree.
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Easy in concept, difficult in application. Conversations quickly turn to arguments when we're intrested in hearing our partner admit that we were right or when we are intent on changing his/her opinion. Choose to approach a conversation as an opportunity to understand your significant other’s perspective as opposed to waiting for them to concede. From this perspective, we have an interesting dialogue and prevent a blow out or lingering frustration.



9. Make your apology count.
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It’s well understood that apologizing is a good thing but it only makes a real impact when you mean it. Saying things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you see it that way” are a waste of time and breath. Even if you don’t agree that your action was wrong, you will never successfully argue a feeling.

Accept that your partner feels hurt and from this place, a real apology can have a significant impact. When you love your partner and hurt them (intentionally or not) you can always legitimately apologize for the pain you caused regardless of your perspective on what you did or didn’t do.


We love to here your thoughts. Have a great week.
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About MaryJay's Blog

I believe love is a beautiful thing and everyone deserves to love and be loved. The contents of this blog is aimed at helping people become the right person so that they can find the right person. Enjoy!
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1 comments:

  1. Truth be told, this are simple things we can infuse in our day to day living but often times we neglect them until the relationship turns south. Thanks for the snippets, worth the read.

    ReplyDelete